I SUX SO BADLY

I'm wonderin what friends for. They tend to say, friends are to help each other. She says, "we can work on our friendship eventhou we have communication problem", "speak your problems out so that we will know and understand you". Is that so?

I just dont give a damn. First, you contact lenses got into trouble and you went home in the middle of the class. I was alone and two black guys were with me til back to Desaria. Second, your singing rehersals. You asked me to accompany you, so I did. For you, I sacrificed my time and money because I treat you as a friend. Third, your shoes broken and you need to get new shoes. You asked me to accompany you again, and I did. Each time you asked me to go somewhere with you, just because the rest refused to go with you, you'll find me. That's fine, I go. When you got them, you dont even bother to ask me out. Fine.

Now, I need your help. Go to Mines with me because I am in a great desperate for fabrics and other materials. What you had answered me? "Sorry will stay home". Shouldnt you tell me bout it earlier if you're not goin? You're busy; you said. Is it? Watchin movies, sleeping, day dreamin bout your dream guy,etc; that's busy. Great.

Maybe to you and others, it's not a big deal. I am mad because I think it's important. What am I to you? A backup? I'm such a GREAT FOOL.

Dont you bother to ask me to accompany you or explaining what the lecturer says in class. I feel like I'm being used. When you need a help, I offer. When I need a help, you trashed me. That's it.
You might think I am selfish. I admit that, I need friends because I am alone. It's like I got no one here, except you, closest friend. But I'm nothing to you.

Maybe I wont bother, if our friendship gonna split. Since, I'm always alone and you're always got your friends with you.

I hate this place. Wish I can find my own true friends here.